Earlham Absurd: Beware of Walk-of-Shame Skunk

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Earlham Absurd: Beware of Walk-of-Shame Skunk

By Nicole Burkett, ’22

Earlham’s campus is well known for having a variety of squirrely animals roaming about. 

Lately, there have been reports of an animal of a rather smellier nature. A skunk has been spotted by several students in the wee hours of the morning on their walks back from doing rather precarious activities. 

This skunk is easily identifiable. It has been described as “mostly white with a black stripe.” 

Public Safety has asked that students “avoid the skunk.” This has proven hard for several students who were on a drunken venture home. The students had presumed the skunk to be a cat and unfortunately learned the hard way that the creature was, in fact, a bit stinkier. While the skunk is not rabid, it is still wild, and therefore if you find what you think is a cat outside while you are under the influence, it is best just to let sleeping dogs, or skunks, lie, so to speak.

Unfortunately, our intoxicated selves don’t always remember such things. If you do encounter a skunk’s butt odor, wikiHow suggests hydrogen peroxide for the smell.

Reslife would like to stress not to try and domesticate the skunk. Considering students in the U cannot even do laundry without ripping off the washing machine door, the concern is warranted. 

If you are walking home with your shoes in hand, do not throw your shoes at the skunk, because that only angers the skunk, according to one student’s one-on-one interaction with the animal. WikiHow says not to surprise the skunk, so it would be a better idea to place the shoes down gently, and then run away. 

The skunk was not available for comment.

The Earlham Absurd is The Word‘s satirical news column.

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